Who can deny the wisdom of a certain Dr. Suess? Most people I guess.

                                    My LoveBug....Always The Creative Thinker

Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the things you can think up if only you try!”

-    --=    ---- Dr. Seuss, author

Typography Rocks. For Real Yo.

Typography literally makes my heart and brain come alive with excitement! I spent over 3 hours this morning downloading new fonts and playing with them. Words are so incredible and typography makes them dance and sing like they have their own little personalities and emotions to portray. I need to learn how people design fonts for the computer, I think it’s a new goal.

OOOh OOOh OOOOHHH!!! That is what my blog needs! A goal list with updates and tracking..

K. back to my day.

Despicable ME

I am not happy with my life. I need change. I need to do something about the way things are going. It’s all up to me and I know this. The thing is, I feel conflict in every direction I’m pulled in AND in every path I consider paving for myself. Maybe a short inventory should be done.

The Facts

ü I’m 29, almost 30

ü I have 2 children; Vincent just turned 9, and Leyna who is 4

ü I live in my mother’s basement that I share with my almost 23 year old brother. My 20 year old sister also lives here.

ü I don’t have a car, or any means of my own transportation.

My Sad Truth

ü I battle with drug and alcohol addiction on a daily basis.

ü I recently allowed my depression to take hold and SO stupidly quit a job I adored, so I’m now unemployed.

ü I allow my abusive and destructive relationship which has taken over my life to continue and even strengthen (not good strength)

Oh wow, now I feel just downright pathetic. BUTT. As I’m writing, I’m thinking about how I plan to post this on the internet. At first I was thinking how dumb that would be and to erase everything. Then, my mind shifted, and I considered the fact that it could be very liberating to be that honest and truthful about who I am. SO, without continuing on with any more writing, I am going to publish this before I change my mind.

Note: if after reading this you find you may dislike me, please don’t stop visiting me. I am being extremely candid in an effort to make myself a better person, and hopefully better the life of someone else in the process too. THAnK YoUU!!

I AM CRAZY!!!! deal with it.

Not that its exactly a new-found realization about myself......but I'm finding this "life management" thing pretty difficult. Especially lately. I have all these versions of ME that seem to battle each other. Many times, I fear that I have too many different selves and that I was cursed by being put into one brain because I will never be able to fully act on all of us in one lifetime. Most of the time, I have so many ideas in my head that instead of focusing on something and following through with an idea or project or task, my mind wanders over to something new and the previous is either put on the back burner or lost entirely. 


In an effort to combat this "illness", as I have labeled it, I start notebooks, I clip pictures, I start Internet accounts, etc. etc. etc. However, I tend to have too many categories upon categories to keep track of. Then, I move, or something big happens in my life, stacks of notebooks or binders are put into boxes or are lost under piles of something else entirely. Strange, because organization is one of my greatest talents, yet I cant organize my own freaking life. 


Lets start here. Who are the many different ME's?

• Mom-Me (he he, nice : ))
• Student Me
• Significant Other Me                                               
• Sewing Me
• Crafting Me
• Organizer Extraordinaire Me
• Entrepreneur Me
• Computer and Graphic Design Me
• Wherever I May Have a Job At The Time Me
• Pattern Drafting Me
• Friend Me
• I Can Help You With Your Business Me
• Loser/Drifter Me
• Exotic Dancer Me
• Angry Violent Me
• Susie Homemaker Me
• Depressed and Useless Me
• Over-Ambitious Me
• Over-Schedule Myself Me

And I swear there is probably about 10 more versions of ME's too. 

Let's put it out there--------------------I have mental illnesses. A few are diagnosed and pretty minor, and some I'm just pretty damn sure of. 

ANXIETY SUCKS............I need help in combating the bitch. And to make it worse, I have anxiety by a million different versions as well. 

I originally intended on creating a blog about sewing, homesteading, crafting, and marketing my products and abilities. However, in writing this post, something has come to be more obvious in my head. I should use this blog as a personal journal about my personal journey in this 'life'. Come to think of it, my favorite leisure "story" type books have always been basically memoirs or stories about women or girls with mental illness and the anguish life brings them. They help me think about myself and give me something to connect to. So what better an idea to make this blog my crazy life story? Hey, it may help me sort my head out. My writing mos def flows a million times easier writing about this than when I even attempt to think about making my own tutorial. THAT is a project that terrifies me for some freaking reason.

SO THERE! TAKE THAT. TAKE THAT, ANXIETY AND CRAZINESS OF MINE!!!

McRibbizak

Life has been, well, insane. Thankfully, things have calmed down a little bit, but since I started this blog so many things have changed. I’ve moved, started a new job, had extreme relationship drama, and have been inspired in new ways, yet stifled in others.

This post is an affirmation to myself that I will follow through with this blog and for now, treat it like a narrative to my current ups, downs and all the middle grounds. To you, my reader, I realize this may not make any sense at all, but I promise that I will sort it all out and in the end it will make all the sense in the world. So please, join me in my adventure!

I have to admit, Im a tad frightened

You know, Ive been researching and brainstorming and attempting and putting off this whole blog business for a while. Im intimidated. So, Ive started right? Right. The problem now? Ive, for the most part, figured out what I want to do on here, but cant seem to figure it out just yet. Frustrating. Ive come to a standstill I believe for at least a few minutes, hours maybe? So its break time, I have a couple pairs of pasties to make anyhow. Just wanted to vent a wee bit, hopefully gain some feedback elsewhere, because I love you and all Google and Blogger, but your help section aint helpin me squat. : ((

Creating is a way of life

Welcome to my world, er, my world in progress. My name is lacy D. In my world, my "soul" focus is creating. It doesnt matter what I am creating, whether it is a sweet handbag, my famous lighter leashes, or even dinner, as long as I get to be making something with my hands that brings joy to someone I am happy. Creating and making make me feel whole, it gives me pride and purpose. My mother started me at a very young age with different projects of sewing, needlepoint and other such crafts. She started sewing her own Barbie clothes at 8 years old. This has been our way of life. Not being upper class has taught me that if I want something, I better make it myself!
So what is my blog going to be about? Id like to cover all things in my overstuffed mind, considering staying on one topic for me is a little impossible. How about a list? (Lists are one of my top favorite things in life, I could make lists of lists!)

my blog topic list

• sewing
• crafting
• tutorials
• frugality
• homesteading
• family
• organizing
• inspiration
• and way more awesome stuff like this!

My head has so many ideas and things I want to do and learn and accomplish in it, that sometimes I fear that there is too much and I should be a few different people. I struggle daily with organizing all these things not only in my life, but in my mind as well. I have a love affair with notebooks and paper in general, so there are random notebooks for every interest and list and thought I have in every room of my house. At times, I think this may make it worse. I recently was able to devote a room of my house into an office so Im hoping to make it all come together in here. But now, my office and my sewing area have been seperated which results in me running back and forth from room to room looking for different things I need at the time. Aaaarrrggghhh!!!
This is kind of a frustrating time in my life, trying to figure out how to live all my different "lives"!
My hopes are that this blog will be a key factor in organizing my head, shaping my life to better suit my needs, learning from others all that I can, and teaching others what I can to better suit their needs!

Well, my first blog audience, I must bid you adieu for now, I will be back soon.

thank you for listening!